What a year!

On 31st December 2019, as the hour turned midnight and we opened the figurative door to 2020, I distinctly remember thinking that 2020 was going to be a great year.

Hmmm…… cue tumbleweed.

NYE 2019 Fancy Dress: Hanging out with my son, the Joker

January started as planned. We picked up two gorgeous kittens, Jak and Liza, and I started working for a foreign exchange company, supporting their development programme. My career, thus far, had been in leadership roles for Retail Store Development where I guided teams to deliver new store builds and refurbishments. I made the decision to work as a consultant in 2020, in order to continue with my new study and ultimate journey to become a Personal / Life Coach. I believed working as a consultant would free up some of my time to study and help facilitate my path towards starting my own coaching business. The month proceeded as planned. Meanwhile, in the background, China was dealing with a deadly virus. They had shut down supply to the world at large and quarantined Wuhan, the epicentre, in order to prevent further spread. I was watching… the world was watching… the virus had started to spread further afield.

February arrived. It was my youngest son’s birthday. We went to the Natural History Museum, had a party for him and celebrated with family at home. I’d travelled to Seville and Madrid with the FX company and finished my contract with them on 15th February. It was time to start looking for my next consultant opportunity. Wonderfully, I had several conversations lined up with retailers and hotel chains. I was at last stages on a few of them - all very exciting. I had also hit fitness and weight levels which thrilled me no end. I was in a good place. However there were still concerns about the virus epicentre, which had now moved to Europe and was hitting Italy and Spain hard - it had also arrived in the UK.

March pitched up, as did the certain news that we were, in fact, dealing with a global Pandemic. Memes were coming thick and fast. I recorded a podcast on 5th March with 3x Tips to Help with Anxiety During a Pandemic and we were all advised to sing Happy Birthday, twice, while washing our hands. On 23rd March, life as we knew it changed. Boris Johnson had the unenviable and unthinkable task of shutting down our country for a minimum of 3 months. Full isolation for everyone. Businesses closed and we were only permitted to go outside for one form of exercise a day.

The conversations and job opportunities fell off a cliff. I was faced with the prospect of no work and no income. Since I was between employment, despite the generous support package the government were proposing, I fell through the cracks with 3 million others. There would be no government support for me or my family... how would we survive?

April: The spring and summer months are really a bit of a blur. We approached Home Schooling with gusto - we’ve got this!! My eldest son celebrated his 9th birthday in isolation, Joe Wicks was our saviour and Britain experienced record breaking temperatures. It was simply incredible to be spending so much time at home, with my children.

But there was an underlying niggle to this all - a real fear. Months were slipping by with no income.

May: I had little to no confidence walking into May and was struggling with positivity, although I worked hard to deliver a positive message online and through my podcast. Despite the sunshine, I found myself in a very dark place. What were we going to do? At some point, we won’t be able to pay bills - what happens then? After much soul searching, many tears and a lot of chocolate with wine, I decided to follow my heart and start my coaching business. Why not, we’re only in the middle of a Pandemic 😉. In order to make this happen, I would need to reach out to people and take myself out of my comfort zone - I needed to ‘Seize the Day’.

It was a Zoom call with Alex Kowalczcuk which set me on my right path. I spoke candidly about my situation, and Alex suggested I catch up with Sandra Whiles, an incredible Executive and Leadership coach. Despite the ongoing Pandemic fears and issues - this is where my story changes.

June: I joined Sandra’s CTN Group Coaching and felt immediately at home. My soul started to sing again as I met a wonderful coaching community who would grow to feel like family. I spoke with so many fabulous people including an enlightening conversation with Rachael Redgrave, who helped me realise that I didn’t require permission to just ‘get on with it’. So, on 30th June, I registered my business, NMS Coaching Ltd, and started my career as a coach.

July saw me gaining clients and connecting with more and more people. I joined the Coach’s Gathering, which Sandra and Annie Lee founded, where I focused heavily on my business and the positive progress. I started to journal at every step in order to observe my own limiting beliefs, negative language and to reframe where appropriate. I discovered my purpose and I learnt, first hand, that connection is the keystone to enabling us to move forward - it is a core human need and the pandemic isolation had deprived us of that.

August, September and October saw me hosting and moderating panels at the SCLHO Book Conference. After a staggering FIVE months, I got my hair cut and the boys got to go back to school. We were permitted to meet up to 6 people outside and I launched my Practising Positivity workshops - I’m excited to say I will be launching a revamped version for 2021.

November and December brought a myriad of different experiences. I joined a Group Coaching programme held by Barefoot Coaching and run by the fabulous Kim Morgan. In an interesting turn of events, I then caught Covid. The fatigue meant it took much of November for me to recover - you can hear about my experience on Seize the Day. Gratefully, as soon as I was well enough, Diana West and I partnered up to work on some super exciting projects. One being The Alternative Christmas Party, which we held in December for individuals and corporations. I loved every minute - bringing some connection and Christmas cheer to teams who had not seen each in months. And to close the year out, rather superbly, I was also featured in The Guardian and on Times Radio.

So, why this extensive and reflective blog? Whilst 2020 has been a hard, challenging and in places, a heart-breaking year, it has also been rewarding, exciting and full of achievement. I am following my dream. I had my back against the wall… a fight or flight moment and I fought. I made a decision, I made a plan and I am following my heart. I have found my purpose.

Making this happen, wasn’t without help and that’s what’s struck me most about this year. We all need each other, we are ALL connected. I’ve had the good fortune to meet so many kind and fabulous people, who have helped me realise and tap into who I really am. So, if you find yourself struggling, please, please, please reach out to someone, to anyone. Now, more than ever, connection is so important.

To this end, I wanted to offer some tips and learns from my 2020, to support as we move into next year: -

Connection: Someone recently reminded me about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. In his diagram, Maslow highlights that connection is a core human need. We are Tribal species at heart and I wholeheartedly recommend connecting with people at every opportunity. I did that this summer and it helped me move mountains.

Kindness & Gratitude: We never know what someone is going through. Kindness truly matters - serotonin is produced when we are kind - the giver experiences it, the receiver and any observers. That makes us feel good and more inclined to get up and do things. Without it, we lose a sense of well-being and we will experience anxiety and fear. It’s also important to be grateful for what we do have, and as Annie Lee advises on her Positive Mindset programme, we should ask ourselves ‘what went well’.

Sharing: Share both knowledge and your story - you never know who it may help.

Trust your journey: Sometimes our journey may take us down an ‘A-road’ which leaves us questioning why - is this where I wanted to go? Trust your journey - it will get you where you need to be.

Say yes: Had I not said yes to catching up with Alex or Sandra, I would not be where I am today. Had I not said yes to the article in the Guardian, I would not have been asked on the radio. And so on… the cycle continues. Even if you feel nervous, say yes - push yourself out of comfort zones. Amazing things can happen.

I want to extend an enormous thanks to all of my coaching clients this year - I am eternally grateful to you and excited for what 2021 will bring you.

And finally, I will leave you with a book quote, from the fabulous author, Lee Winter:

“Sometimes in life, someone's path intersects with the person they need most at any given moment.” - Shattered

Keep an eye out for those people - they’re special.

2020 in Reflection.

What’s in a Plan?